April 23, 2012

Money Worship

We have been friends since college but we drifted ways when life took over. After our reunion last year, we reconnected via Facebook and last Friday we went out again.

A photo from our past, when we were untainted still by money and power.
The evening started out fine with a retelling of funny fragments of our youth. Then all of a sudden, the talk shifted to her new boyfriend (she is a widow with 5 children) and how they met. She has been in a relationship with the guy, a divorced 60-year old businessman for all of 4 weeks.

That night's dinner was a far cry from our college
fare of beer and peanuts.
It wouldn’t have been an issue except that the focus of her talk was her boyfriend’s Porsche, BMW, Mercedes Benz, and how she is now involved in his decision to buy either a Ferrari or Lamborghini (to which she said, “It should be Lamborghini, of course.”). Or how he plans to have all her kids secure passports so that they can all have a short vacation abroad. It went on and on for what seemed to me like a painful eternity.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat then motioned to my husband it was time to go. I was so sad that our rare night out ended with me feeling so disillusioned about my friend’s intense money-talk.

Truth is, I am not against money and fancy things. In fact, I particularly admire people who have acquired possessions out of talent, hard work and ambition-- a feat especially difficult in the Third World. But I draw the line when I see that money and materialism consume a person so much and allow it to overshadow their other values in life.

My friend is a beautiful, hardworking, intelligent woman. One day, I want to be able to get to know the new boyfriend without feeling biased about his riches, because it is certainly not his fault if he is rich. I hope he is as intelligent, as kind, as loving as my friend. And richer, too, in life experiences to steer my friend to a life filled with meaning and purpose.

And when that’s settled, I shall allow myself to ride in his new Lamborghini.


Becolorful said...

Good for you for having your priorities straight and the integrity to not be envious of others but for recognizing that these material things are filling some unmet need for your friend. Perhaps it is low self esteem or some sort of emotional unfulfillment she is trying to compensate for. If she and this man stay together she will quickly learn that these flashy things, although wonderful, are not a replacement for whatever is lacking in her life and they alone can never make her happy.
Here's to hoping you do eventually get a ride in that car.

supermac said...

Thanks, Pam. I was actually wondering if I should feel guilty for telling on my friend here on my blog. But I felt bothered and compelled to write about it. PLUS, my blog is a "secret blog". I only have 3 followers from real life and these friends don't know my college circle.

I also wondered if I came off as judgmental. It is such a relief to know that somebody understood and appreciated where I am coming from. Thank you SO MUCH for your comment.

Ai Sakura said...

Thanks for coming over my blog! :) Yup, now we live in Singapore so any talk about Japan is only about our travels or friends there haha..

From your post, my initial feeling about your friend is maybe she is feeling insecure like what Becolorful said, or that she just wanted to show that life is good for her now.. despite what she has gone through in the past and that you don't have to worry about her. I do hope you will have more meetings with her to reconnect :)

Stay in touch!

Ai @ Sakura Haruka

Anonymous said...

You'd hate the Lambo ride anyway, not even close to a kalesa ride at the cobblestones of Ilocos:)


supermac said...

Fosho, Jomjom ;-) Super enjoy ang kalesa sa Ilocos.