May 2, 2009

stalking exes


it was the morning just after noche buena, about two or three years ago. jake and i were very much awake, savoring the wine and the moments that had just passed-- with the happy din of our daughters’ laughter, the buzz from the TV set, the clinks and clanks from the kitchen and in the midst of the noise, the sense of happy quiet within that marked all our christmases past.

in a sense, it should have been an ordinary christmas celebration except for the fact that that day, when jake and I conjugally stalked our exes.

it started innocently enough, when i opened my laptop and surfed on multiply, friendster and facebook, wandering aimlessly. then Jake sat by my side and by the force of red wine led my fingertips to google on the names cris, norman, jay, justine, trixie, jasmine etc. etc. etc. names that we have long buried in the past and names I never heard of before until that moment (aha!).

it was surreal doing ex-stalking with your husband. but I guess it is a testament to how safe and secure we are as a couple and how comfortable we can be as friends to even consider stalking as a joint venture.

i looked at jake as he rattled off more names of people once connected to me or to him. and I thought of the many beers and wine bottles we shared and the years of drunken stupor, the boisterous laughter or quiet joy that permeated all our drinking sessions.

we’d probably still be drinking many, many years from now. more than the shared love for wine and beer, i think it is also our common love for good conversation, laughter, friendship, and sheer nothing-ness that make this relationship well-oiled, so to speak.

that christmas morning, i thanked God for the wonderful man I married. because had I ended up with any of my exes, I don’t think he’d ever agree to stalk exes with me. 

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